I feel like I must be the last person to hear about this, but Siri can read whatever is on the screen to you. In practice what I can do is swipe down from the top edge of the screen and have her read a web page or Instapaper article to me. Much more natural sounding than the reader in Instapaper. Unfortunately you can’t start and stop playback with a tap on your earbud though. But it’s a small price to pay when you have an infant that loves to be walked a lot or manual labor to do.